Dumping the family
Why do they do it?
Ajit John
Chief Reporter
They came to this country from their villages in India with dream to earn petrodollars. Leaving young wives and sometimes children, these small-time workers have never seen back home to make a life in a new country and earn a living.
Many are deep in debt and become thick-skinned and callous. Too many blows by fate and finally, the little affection they have seems to evaporate from their lives.
In the beginning they send money to the family and keep things going, often balancing priorities between aging parents and wives with exhausting dexterity.
Dumping the family
Why do they do it?
Ajit John
Chief Reporter
They came to this country from their villages in India with dream to earn petrodollars. Leaving young wives and sometimes children, these small-time workers have never seen back home to make a life in a new country and earn a living.
Many are deep in debt and become thick-skinned and callous. Too many blows by fate and finally, the little affection they have seems to evaporate from their lives.
In the beginning they send money to the family and keep things going, often balancing priorities between aging parents and wives with exhausting dexterity.
He could be from anywhere, any country where expat traffic is high. The names are generic. One man’s story reads like a fax of the others.
One day, this good father and son simply disappears. Gone. There is a bout of whispers, of sightings at Manama, Juffair and Zinj. Meet Srinivas Hanmala or for that matter Dharaman. John. Salim. Peter. Surinder. Same difference. They just couldn’t hack it anymore.
Years pass and they can’t make that one connection back home. Not for weddings, not for birthdays and anniversaries, not even if death knocks on the family door. It is over, there is a steel covering on their emotions. They have cut their ties.
The numbers are growing. Indeed. Some have run away to a new love, others are in hiding because of debt but most just walk away.
Why do they do it?
I spoke to some of them. Men whose spirit is cracked if not broken, who can rationalise at a level that you and I cannot.
Shaji (name changed) a long time resident of Bahrain said, “My wife’s cousin has cut off all contact with his family in Kerala . He has been living in Bahrain for the past fifteen years under a different name. He does not keep in touch with us. It is not that he is having a tough time; in fact he has a very good business. We have not seen him for the past fifteen years. People claim to have seen him in Juffair and at other times in Manama. His wife tell us that occasionally they get a blank call and when they answer it there is no one on the other end. He has not married again. Why has he done it, we have no idea”.
Ali from India came to Bahrain eighteen years ago and has kids aged twenty- one and twenty-two back home. He has not seen them for the past nine years. Mohammed his relative speaking to the Tribune said “ We have information that he is still in Bahrain, he has cut all contact with my wife his sister also. We think there is another women involved. Though Bahrain is a small community we have not been able to track him. His daughters back home are at an age when they should be married but when the question of their father comes up, matters take a turn for the worse.”
When asked if such cases were common in Bahrain, Mohammed said, “Cases like this abound in Bahrain. Sometimes it is the inability to sustain a job that makes these people cut all contact with their loved ones. I have seen young men who come here spending all their money in the various clubs. They get into debt and some of them develop close relationships with the staff that work in these clubs. They get deep into debt and unable to handle the stress of demands from back home cut off all contact with their families”.
Marietta Dias speaking to this journalist said, “ We handle so many cases of people who have stayed here for fifteen to twenty years without going back home. They have been unable to sustain jobs and they slip through the cracks. I am aware that one of the south Indian channels has a program that tries to track these people. I guess individuals who come here may develop relationships over here. Generally I get cases of people who have lost touch with their families due to financial reasons. Recently we had two cases where we sent back people who were here for twenty- five years. They were on their last legs so to speak. They were unable to keep their jobs and just lost touch with their loved ones.”
For Mohammed though the search continues for his son in law in Bahrain. “My wife still thinks of her brother. We are now supporting her brother’s family. The TV program on Kairali is quite popular. People have been traced. We hope to find him some day.”
Hope is a commodity in short supply.
Article from: Bahrain Tribune Newspaper- www.BahrainTribune.com